


The Enemy

by BlossomBlue



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 05:50:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6788278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlossomBlue/pseuds/BlossomBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three boys with hopeless crushes, two people too drunk to function, and one girl who was too good for the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Enemy

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of what happens when you listen to Lana Del Ray 24/7...Originally just Eremika, but I added in some ships of mine that I've recently been loving.   
> Enjoy The Enemy!

The Enemy 

If someone ever asked him how to describe her; mysterious was the only thing that came to his mind. Of course, that’s not all she was; but a one worded answer would always seem to do, and it was true- she was as unintentionally mysterious as the inky night she often sought refuge in. A fierce outline that more often than not prowled the streets at night, sometimes for no particular reason, other times, searching for the comfort she found amusing in strangers. She had quite the reputation for herself, not that it bothered her. She wasn’t famous, yet better known everywhere. Strangers had given her nickname that she deemed amusing yet appropriate for the situations she found herself in. Her nickname was The Raven, as ravens themselves are incredibly intelligent, beautiful creatures much like herself, and she often found herself being attracted to shiny things.

Alas, as much as she liked her given nickname, her real name was Mikasa Ackerman; yet only a few new this. She begged her few friends to call her by her nickname, yet they preferred Mikasa. As far as her friends knew, she didn’t have any family, or any that she mentioned anyway. She had mistakenly come into their lives, and for some reason, decided to stay. They knew little about her past, because she never told anyone about it. Not that it mattered; the topic rarely arose, and when it did, she’d always give that beautiful laugh, either tapping her nose, or giving a snarky comment in return. After a while, they had left it at that, assuming that she wanted to forget about her past.

Mikasa was known for a lively, yet troublesome personality, always finding herself getting in and out of trouble by doing unheard of things that no one else could possibly get away with. Her friends often encouraged her to take an easy life, to maybe try and find a job, and settle down. Yet every time they mentioned this, Mikasa laughed, explaining that that wasn’t her. Not many people would understand what that meant. She often talked about exploring the world, seeing it for herself, on her own, getting their on her own. Moving away from this place she had come accustomed to. The things she did talk about in her past were the places she’d been, how she’d gotten there, and what she’d done to make her dreams happen. She recalled bouncing from place to place, so before anyone could get too attached to her, she’d leave without breaking hearts. It was her own little personal rule for herself; yet she had broken it once she had arrived in New York. She had acquired the friends of Eren, Armin, Sasha, Connie, Marco, Jean, and a few friends through them, yet she hadn’t seen them much. She was annoyed at herself for breaking her little ‘rule’, but after meeting Eren, Armin, and Jean in a club one night, and having almost slept with a close friend of theirs, she let herself indulge in one place for a while. After realising she had nowhere to go, Eren and Armin had insisted she stay at their place. Truthfully, she was going to use them, as a place to stay until she moved on, as she had done many times before, constantly lying to them all the time. But, after a while, to her own dismay, she found herself falling in love with the atmosphere they had as a group of friends, hence her reasoning to stay just a little while longer had become more rational to her. 

Her friends weren’t disgusted with her, because they knew that’s what she was like. She had been staying for six months now; and her brain was beginning to do the thing she had slightly hoped it hadn’t. She had begun to get bored of familiar surroundings, the people she was with. Mikasa had to mingle with others had to change and develop, as she lusted for an answer to who she was.

Mikasa was blessed with the looks of a goddess, with a short black silky bob of hair, which looked best when it shimmered in moonlight, and a rounded face that wasn’t chubby, yet had sculpture to it. She owned a slightly pointed chin, and flushed cheeks, along with glossy pink lips. Thin eyebrows that mirrored her hair colour were accompanied by deep ocean blue eyes that reflected her as a person. The deepest depths of the ocean had not been explored yet; nor had Mikasa. And she planned on keeping it that way for a while. She had a smile that could knock a grown man down, and a smirk that could tame several young men. Yet she never exaggerated her looks; never made herself out to be someone else. She knew she was beautiful; of course she did, as she used this to her advantage to get anything she wanted from anyone. It wasn’t that she was flirty, more manipulative, which most of her friends knew.

It didn’t bother most of them how she got her money. Doing random jobs here and there, getting good paying jobs and leaving after two weeks was her style of doing things. She had also done some things she wasn’t very proud of...but every time a guy zipped up his trousers and handed her a wad of cash, she reminded herself that she lived in a world compelled by money, and that often disgusted her. She had done awful things for quick money, but it didn’t bother her so much to where as she couldn’t sleep because of it. Mikasa did want to see as much of the world as she could, living free just like she had always dreamed of, and it wasn’t the fact that death scared her, (in fact, she had always welcomed an early death that she knew she was going to have), but she did want to live her life to the fullest, as cheesy as it sounded, because Mikasa had a burning passion for freedom that no one could possibly ever understand.

With every experience she gained, there was a story to be told. An advantage to making friends was that Mikasa could finally share these stories with someone other than herself. They weren’t grand stories (at least, she didn’t think so); such as she once managed to sneak onto a plane by climbing into the baggage area. She was destined for Boston, and had a happy time searching through people’s bags. Not to take anything, no, but to learn a little about the person’s bag she had gone through. Or another time, (make that countless times) where she had seduced a police officer, and after promising him head, she bit his dick and ran. Another time, she had been smoking cannabis, and an annoyed old lady stomped her way, asking for a lighter. Mikasa declined, saying she didn’t have one, but the fact that she had been smoking cannabis had interested the old lady, and they had gotten stoned together. She often found these stories funny to herself, yet one member of the group of friends she had made hated her side. Every time he brought it up, she shrugged it off, giggling, promising that that was her only side, yet he refused to believe it.

Eren Yeager had made the terrible mistake of falling in love with Mikasa Ackerman. If she ever found out, he wouldn’t be able to predict her reaction, as she was a very unpredictable person. He was certain that countless guys must have confessed their love to her; so why couldn’t he? Perhaps it was the fact that it was her, and everything about her seemed perfect to her, even if she did terrible things. It saddened him to see Mikasa come back within the early hours of each morning, either with some random guy that she had to eventually kick out, or how pissed or stoned she was. He wanted to believe with everything he had that Mikasa could change; that she wasn’t going to stay like this forever. But after voicing this to all of his friends, they were genuinely shocked to see that he thought such things. Everyone else had come to agree and accept that Mikasa would either leave soon, or make herself an early grave.

After Eren finally admitted he loved her to Armin, he got what felt like a slap in the face. Armin had stated this in the nicest possible way he could (meaning no disrespect to Mikasa, as she of course, was his friend), but it was simple; Mikasa was toxic. She was no good, and Armin was pretty sure she knew this herself. No good could come from him devoting his entire life to her, when she could just up and leave without a word whenever she pleased. Despite this, his feelings wouldn’t leave him, even if she was the girl who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.

Alcohol was the only thing he could smell, as shitty pop music pumped throughout the air. Flashing multi-coloured lights danced onto the floor and onto people’s sweaty moving bodies, as they jumped up and down to a pretty regular beat. Even though there must have been at least a hundred- maybe more- out on the dance floor, emeralds were only locked onto her moving body. She seemed to jump up and down in slow motion to him, moving her head side to side, pumping the air with her arm, letting her hair fall around her face each time, and she screamed loudly with excitement, everyone following suit. She was wearing a little make up from what Eren could remember, yet it had probably all vanished now. She was wearing a tight black dress, which was perhaps a little too short (although she had received many compliments from both males and females), showing off most of her thighs, and her gorgeously tanned legs. Tall black heels covered her feet, and it amazed Eren how she managed to dance in them. He was snapped back into a crushing reality by a loud voice in his hear.

“EREN!”

He jumped a little, whipping his head around to see Connie rolling his eyes and nudging Sasha, letting him know he was back on Earth.

“Sorry, guess I was a little distracted,” He mumbled, turning his head slightly back to the crowd. Mikasa was no longer centre of the dance floor. In fact, he couldn’t see her at all.

“Glad to see you’ve joined us back on Earth. How was mars? Or should I say, tanned legs planet? Not much has changed down here, apart from now there are robots that you can have sex with, and Hilary Clinton is President.” Armin said nonchalantly, taking back a shot.

“Christ Armin,” Jean muttered next to him, while Sasha and Connie laughed. Eren rolled his eyes, turning his head back to the crowd, still desperately trying to find Mikasa.

“No it’s okay,” Armin mumbled, wiping his mouth. “It’s Mikasa, the girl has nice legs. I’ll admit, as everyone on this damn table should, including you Sash, that Mikasa has nice legs. I swear, that girl makes me question my sexuality.”

Sasha giggled, looking out into the crowd, leaning her head back against the headboard of the booth they were situated in. “Oh god, you’ve not fallen for her have you?”

“What? Come now, my name’s not Eren,” Armin earned a glare from Eren, to which he smirked. “And anyway, just like to point out that I’m asexual. Or would you prefer me to wear a big sign over my head just in case you forget?”

Jean chuckled, taking a sip of his own drink. “Go for it, dude.”

“I might actually,” Armin agreed jokingly, raising his eyebrows and cocking his head to the side. “Be easier to fend of creeps.”

Their thoughts were interrupted by the missing Mikasa slamming a wad of dollars onto the table. The whole booth said nothing, while Mikasa, folded her arms, and kept a grin on her face.

“And would you like to grace us with wherever you got this?” Armin said, pouring himself another shot.

“I didn’t steal it, if that’s what you’re all thinking,” Mikasa giggled to herself, letting her inky black hair fall in front of her face. “I met this random dude out on the dance floor. He whispered into my ear that he wanted to do things to me, so I was like fuck it sure, whatever,” Mikasa slurred her words a little, clearly being drunk. “We went outside, and there’s cops outside I dunno why,” She said waving her hand,” So we went round the back and we started making out, and I took his wallet out of his back pocket, and got some money out, asking for more drinks, and he was like sure, and then...” She paused to give her full, beautiful laugh.

“And then, and then I-I screamed, I mean _screamed_ at the top of my lungs, and it got the cops attention, and they thought I was getting raped or something so they arrested him, and I kept the money and came back inside and here we are!” She said, feeling a little proud of herself, swaying from side to side.

The booth was a mixture of faces. Armin kept natural, being unsurprised by anything she did anymore. Jean, Connie and Sasha were in mid confusion, with their eyebrows scrunched up, and Eren was genuinely heart broken. His dream was becoming less and less real by the minute. 

“You do realised...you got someone _arrested_ tonight, yeah?” Jean questioned.

Mikasa shrugged. “Eh, not like _that’s_ never happened before...anyway, drinks on me!” She said giggling. “Sash, baby, come help me?”

Sasha looked to everyone else, before smiling weakly at Mikasa, clearly not being drunk enough to handle Mikasa like this. Nodding, Sasha slid her way around the booths, flashing the remaining members of the booth a worried grin, before following behind a whooping Mikasa. Connie stared after Sasha, sighing a little, which they all picked up on. He was worried for her, as Mikasa was very manipulative, and the last time they were all out like this, Sasha had almost been date raped, hence her worried smile as she walked off with just Mikasa.

“You know she’s gonna come back pissed, right Con?” Jean said lightly, patting his back. Connie sighed once more, resting his elbows on the glossy black table, his chin in his hands.

“Yeah, I know. It’s not like _I_ can do anything about it. Honestly, I wish Sash would listen to me for once. Mikasa’s such a bad influence on her,”

Armin rolled his eyes, pinching some of Jean’s drink, knocking his head back for what seemed to be the hundredth time, to which surprisingly, Jean did not protest. “Con, come on, man. You should know by now; what Mikasa wants, Mikasa gets.” A true statement that no one attested to. “No matter how many times you talk to her, Mikasa will always get in her head, and-“

Eren objected, butting in mid sentence. “Would you stop talking about her like that?” He slightly slammed his fist on the table, turning his back into the crowd, clearly not interested in anything other than Mikasa.

Armin raised his eyebrows looking to the side. “But anyway, moving on.”

“So when you _finally_ gonna tell Sasha that you like her, huh Con?” Jean asked, slightly nudging his elbow, eyes peeling for Sasha in the crowd. She wasn’t as easy to miss as Mikasa had been; sporting a red dress, similar to the style of Mikasa’s black one, yet a little longer.

“I don’t know. Never.”

“Well that’s a boring answer,”

Conversation moved on like that for while, gaining short answers, or laughs. Eren had barely touched any alcohol since they got there, yet Armin had surprisingly done the opposite. He wasn’t drunk; yet defiantly tipsy, as random nonsense seem to spurt from his mouth every five seconds. Connie had been reluctant to drink because of Sasha being by his side, but as soon as she had gone he started his own rounds, and Jean had sipped his was through about three beers.

The night dragged on, being close to one am, yet the club still seemed to be raving strong. Everyone was just about ready to go, almost everyone earning a headache, but they decided to wait for Sasha and Mikasa to get back. About half an hour later, they finally arrived, and as expected, were incredibly drunk.

Sasha slumped over the table, laughing at something Mikasa had said, more like whispered in her ear. Her laughter interrupted the table’s thoughts. Mikasa, suddenly being able to gain some sober thoughts noticed the table’s array of distorted faces. She smiled to herself, until her eyes reached familiar green ones. Green emeralds that she had always found fascinating. He seemed to be in a trance with her; yet she couldn’t figure out why. She probably thought she looked a mess.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Eren?”

Just hearing his name come from her lips was enough to send him over edge. She said it giving a small breathy laugh between the sentence, before his name rolled off of tongue.

“Maybe he’s in love with you!” Sasha exclaimed rather loudly, which made Eren look away, blushing. The only thing Mikasa gained for an answer was the way he blushed like that, and she couldn’t understand it. “Hey Con,” Sasha piped up again, looking up at him through her long gentle lashes, leaning up slightly, so much that her cleavage was showing just a little too much. “Take me home? I feel kinda-“ Hiccup. “Ill,”

He immediately stood up, yanking her shoulders up, and pulling her dress up her shoulders. “Be more careful, Sasha. Your dress almost fell down,”

She looked down, her brown eyes widening. “Oh shoot, did it? Whoops,” She giggled, taking his hand, and leading him around the seats to where she was. It always looked funny when they stood together, because Sasha was just that little bit taller than Connie was. “Thank you,” She slurred. He didn’t think her words meant much right now, as they came from an intoxicated mind. She slung her arm over his shoulder, the movement causing them to both blush, however, it couldn’t be helped, as Sasha could barely walk by herself.

Mikasa was handling herself better than any of them had ever seen her. Although it was noticeable that she was drunk, she wasn’t swaying like she usually did, and she seemed to be level headed, and aware of what was happening around her. She wanted desperately to go back and dance.

Connie looked back to the others, his eyes asking if there were coming as well. Armin pushed the shot glasses away from him across the table, trying to stand upright as he arose. He almost toppled over before Jean caught his arm shakily, hearing a mumbled ‘thank you’ just barely coming from his lips. This caused a slight hint of red to seep into Jean’s cheeks, as he quickly let go of his arm out of embarrassment.

Simple things like that always clashed with Jean. It wasn’t the fact that he was gay; no, it was the fact that he had a crush on an asexual person, so things didn’t really bode well for him in the love department. About six months ago, Jean had broken up with his long term boyfriend of three years, Marco. He had felt horrible, because Marco was a really nice guy; yet unknown feelings for Armin plagued him so much that he found himself lying to Marco constantly, just to be near Armin more often than not. Of course; he had lied about that too, informing Marco that it just wasn’t working anymore. Neither him nor Armin knew about the new feelings that had blossomed; and he had planned to keep it that way. 

“Okay, let’s get going.” Armin said sighing slightly, climbing awkwardly around the seats of the booth, being closely followed by Jean. The four stared back and Eren and Mikasa.

“Eren, Mikasa, let’s go-“

“Actually,” She paused, looking down slightly, before looking back up with a glint of light in her eyes, and a small smile plastered on her face. “I’m gonna stay here a little longer. You guys go ahead, though.”

“I’m staying too.” Eren stated firmly, not looking at Mikasa deliberately. Before she could protest, Armin resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Alright whatever man, call one of us if you need us.” He replied, starting to walk away. The others gave worried looks toward Eren, before following behind slowly, as Sasha was limping.

Once they were finally down the stairs, Mikasa snapped her head towards Eren, black shiny hair moulding around the glare she had on him. “You can go with them, you know. I’m fine by myself-“

“That’s not true, Mikasa. You’ll get yourself into some sort of trouble like you already have tonight, and-“

She folded her arms, leaning on one hip. “I’m not a five year old, Eren, god. I can handle myself!”

“Not when you’re drunk.”

Mikasa sighed, closing her eyes, refusing to have an almost argument over something so petty. She was passionately against that. She reopened her eyes, finding Eren in some sort of awe with her. “Just leave, Eren. Please,” Mikasa unfolded her arms, before strutting off, walking the way she did when she was angry or annoyed, where she swayed her hips a little more, not on purpose. Eren felt ashamed of himself for thinking it, but she looked really sexy like that. He was staying whether she liked it or not. Emerald eyes chased after her, hoping she’d be okay somehow.

 

* * *

 

 

Once they were finally outside, it was a lot colder than it had been before, which was to be expected. The stars were out, and Armin couldn’t help think that Mikasa would love this. She’d probably sit crossed legged on the cold ground, despite the shortness of her dress, and sit like a small child, pointing at all the biggest stars. He smiled to himself, as he wrapped his arms around his fore arms, gazing up at the cloudless sky. He had to admit, he was fascinated by them as well.

His thoughts were interrupted by Sasha moaning loudly that she was cold, which led to Connie draping his hoodie around her shoulders, to which she thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. He couldn’t take anything she was doing to him seriously, and that saddened him, because Sasha was less fake when she wasn’t drunk. He liked sober Sasha a lot more.

He loved Sasha because she could be herself around him. Whereas many other girls he had dated seemed fake, Sasha wasn’t like that at all. She wasn’t afraid to act like a total goof in front of him, laughing loudly, or acting like a slob around him. They would eat loads together, as she had a great taste for good food, and she never felt ashamed or unhappy about it. Not to mention she was incredibly beautiful, having okay brown hair, often being scraped back into a messy ponytail, and matching colour eyes that stood out to him more than anyone else’s in the world. She had a chubby face that wasn’t fat and a rounded chin which evened out her cheeks. He thought she was one of her kind, which stood out amongst many others.

They had taken Connie’s car together, and began pacing themselves toward it, Sasha still tightly wrapped around his shoulder. They walked the short distance which was the car park, and arrived at a shitty grey Ford Focus, that was out of date by many years. After putting Sasha in, helping her buckle up her seatbelt, letting her head softly loll onto its side with her eyes shut. He sighed before slowly shutting the door, making his way back to Jean and Armin.

“Is she gonna be okay, Con?” Jean questioned.

Connie sighed once more, looking back to his car, and gazing at Sasha. “Yeah, hopefully she’ll be okay,” He turned his head back sharply, stuffing his hands into his jean pockets. “What about you guys?”

“Yeah, I’ll be-“

“Ah, fuck,”

Connie and Jean both gave Armin awkward looks each raising a respective eyebrow, as Armin sighed closing his eyes, suddenly only realising now. “Eren was my ride, and with Mikasa’s dress being that short, I don’t think he’ll be leaving anytime soon.”

“Oh...”

Jean took this opportunity to try something. “Hey, uh, if you want, you could crash at my place for the night. You know, order pizza, all that manly stuff,” He said, rubbing the back of his head, something he only tended to do if he was nervous. Armin knew this, but decided to comment on it. He had visited Jean’s house many times before, so it wasn’t like something like this was out of the ordinary. Armin couldn’t decipher why he was so nervous.

“I am too drunk to properly acknowledge the fact that I currently don’t wish to eat pizza, but yes, sure. I will ‘crash’ at your place.”

Jean smiled to himself, before giving awkward thumbs up, and the two bid there fare wells to Connie.

 

* * *

 

 

The car hummed along the road, other cars being blurs of bright flashes of light to Sasha. She hummed quietly to herself, swaying her head a little. Connie couldn’t help himself, as he glanced every once and a while just to see her sitting there, somehow smiling to herself, as seemingly nothing. Every time he looked at her, he felt his love for increase just that little bit more. She was so cute.

“Hey Con?”                   

“Yeah?”

Sasha turned her head slightly toward him, smiling a little before continuing. “Can we stay at your place today? I don’t want to go home alone,” She returned to her original position, eyes grazing lights, knowing what the answer would be. How could he say no? He loved spending nights with Sasha, but he preferred it when she was sober, and when she knew what she was doing.

“Yeah, of course.”

It was that simple. They were so comfortable around each other, that only a few words needed to be exchanged to know what either one of them needed from the other. Connie had always wondered what it would be like if he did end up dating Sasha, a dream far from reality. Would things be the same? What if they broke up, and things couldn’t go back to how they are now? He didn’t know if he was prepared to risk that, even for her. Even so, the idea was still appealing. The ideals he’d set had been a relationship like they had now, yet with kissing, and a lot more cuddles.

Sasha continued to sway her head slowly, still clearly being intoxicated. Her brown dipped in and out of the street lights outside, flashing onto her skin as well. Not that she’d pay that any attention anyway. Connie did though, glancing at her every once and a while, praying that she wouldn’t throw up in his car, like she had done before when she was this drunk. One promised shot had turned into at least ten, and Sasha had thrown up multiple times because of this. She liked to think she wasn’t a lightweight, but everyone knew otherwise.

“Hey Sash…you’re not feeling sick at all are you? Like you could you throw up at any moment? Because if you are, I’d appreciate if you-“

She giggled, closing her eyes a little, swaying her head toward him. “Connie,” She started sternly. “I’ll be fine. I promise,”

Whenever he drove with Sasha, Connie often found himself struggling to concentrate on the road. Drunk or not, he glanced her way a lot, rather looking at her than the road. Whether they were singing, or in eating, or even in a comfortable silence, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from her. Not that he minded, but he also didn’t want to crash the car.

“Okay,” Sighing, Connie forced his steel eyes to look forward, as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “Okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

Fingers drummed along the abandoned table to a shitty beat. Emeralds continued to scan the crowd, eager to find what they were searching for. He couldn’t believe it; in the few moments that she had walked away from him, he’d lost her in a sea of waving arms and hot, sweaty bodies, either grinding or dancing together.

Her last words had repeatedly echoed throughout his head, “ _Just leave, Eren. Please.”_  What in the hell was that supposed to mean? Was she really that stupid as to think that Eren was just going to leave her there, by herself, completely fucked like that? He didn’t dwell on her words for much longer when he realised that this was Mikasa all over; she was just toying with him. And probably herself, too. Just because she had been by herself a lot drunk, she thinks she can handle anything. He’d be dammed if anything was going to happen to her.

His pupils shrunk immediately when he saw her. She was bent over the bar, sweet talking to the bar tender, which only meant one thing. Mikasa was trying to get even _more_ drunk. She was soon successful, receiving a free drink, and the bar tender earning a kiss on the cheek. He got all flustered as she walked away, swaying her hips a little more this time.

Emeralds traced her footsteps to across the bar. She searched the crowd, not really knowing what she was looking for. Mikasa then smiled, making her way over to a man who was by himself, leaning against a pillar. Eren couldn’t tell if he was attractive or not; not that it mattered, if Mikasa was concerned. If she wanted something out of this dude, she’d get it. He lit up when she stalked her way through the crowd to him. She handed him the drink she had gotten, whispering something into his ear. He smirked back at her. Nodding before downing his drink in one go, lazily pawing at her hand. She happily obliged, and soon enough he finished his drink, setting it down on a nearby table. They began to make their way through the crowd, and Mikasa flashed her eyes up at Eren, her expression remaining normal. She knew he’d been watching her; of course she did. Her eyes didn’t leave his until she left his view altogether.

Eren’s brows furrowed. Mikasa wasn’t dumb. Surely even she’d know about how much Eren adored her, yet still, she decided to go and pull that stunt, clearly trying to make him feel jealous. He hated these thoughts that plagued him; he didn’t mean to feel jealous, but he couldn’t help it. Eren tried hard to be a selfless person, but when it came to Mikasa, he wanted to be as selfish as he could be, wanting to have her all to himself. Yet, this could never happen. He knew this, but couldn’t quite accept it. His feelings wouldn’t let him accept it. Mikasa fed off the idea that she was a girl who belonged to no one- yet at the same time she belonged to everyone.

Everyone constantly told him that he needed to get over her; and himself. She wasn’t really good for anyone, Mikasa herself even knowing this. Yet she stayed around, because she’d found herself liking the new people she’d found. Of course, she’d never voiced this. Toying with Eren was one of her favourite things to do, and for that, he hated her.

Enough was enough. As much as he wanted to protect her, there was only so much he could do. He couldn’t go outside and stop whatever she was about to do with that man. He couldn’t stop anything she was about to do. Pointless anger filled him to the brim. He shoved the glasses away from him on the table, and hurriedly stood up, making his way to the nearest exit.

 

* * *

 

 

It was unusually dark in the car, the only light source coming from Armin’s phone as he scrolled through Face Book. He didn’t know why he even had an account; he hated Face Book, and most social networking sites in general. It all seemed like pointless dribble to him; a waste of human intelligence. Yet he often contradicted himself as he found himself more often than not scrolling down a page filled with ‘funny’ videos of people falling over. Those, much to his dismay, never failed to amuse him.

Armin didn’t even realise he was being stared at, to busy quietly laughing to himself. Jean thought it was a truly beautiful sound, yet didn’t voice his opinion. He didn’t find it rude that he was on his phone, but some conversation, whether it had been awkward or not, would have been nice. He didn’t glance over much, not wanting to seem awkward. Armin seemed to be in his own little bubble, and that was okay.

It felt like that about most things with Armin. He had his own little world that no one was allowed into. Everyone just sort of accepted it, no questions or worries. It wasn’t like he was mysterious or anything, it was more like no one asked, because they didn’t need to. Whenever they did something together as a group, he often took time to himself, maybe ten minutes or an hour; it never mattered. Yet Jean could always feel like Armin had greater plans than the city they lived in. However, that wasn’t the case.

Armin had planned to stay in the city his whole life. He’d grown up there, and was planning to die there, too. Whilst travelling the world did seem grand, and admired Mikasa for doing so, he personally would feel out of place other than what he was used to. He was a simple guy, never liked anything to be complicated. His hopes were to become an author, maybe writing one book, or a series of them, and retire early by himself. The idea to others was boring, perhaps even terrifying, but the being the introvert that he classed himself as, that’s all he wanted out of life.

About twenty minutes into the drive, he finally spoke up.

“I can’t help but wonder if some of these videos, or even all of them, are staged. Thoughts?”

Jean shook his head, and smiled a little. Only Armin would feel the need to have a discussion about something so insignificant. “Let’s just say it’d surprise me if they weren’t staged. Why does someone like you even like those things?”

Armin sighed, flicking his index finger up his phone, scrolling down through the videos quickly. “Someone like me. And what’s that suppose to mean, hmm? I’m sure everyone finds these funny.”

“I don’t.”

“Of course, you’re far more interested in cat videos.”

“Hey, don’t you dare say anything about those precious balls of fluff!”

Armin gave a full laugh as Jean’s protesting, and he couldn’t help but smile even wider. Their conversation carried on that way for another ten minutes before arriving at a block of apartments. Jean was situated on the fifth floor, being about half way from the top. Both being still a little drunk, Armin more so than Jean, they stumbled around to the fifth floor. They didn’t know what time it was; yet neither of them cared. The hallways were soon filled with giggles, and ‘shh’s!’ as they clumsily made their way to Jean’s apartment door.

It was nice to see Armin loosen up a little, because he didn’t do that much. He didn’t really have a burring passion for alcohol, but didn’t mind getting drunk every once and a while. He didn’t seem so distant from Jean when he was drunk, and although it may have been a selfish thought, Jean couldn’t wait until he got drunk again.

Once they got inside, each kicked off their shoes, and Armin flopped his whole body down on Jean’s cream sofa, his hair becoming an absolute mess in the process. Not that it wasn’t already, being tangled and sweaty. Jean giggled at the loud groan that came from Armin’s throat.

“And now, the hangover over takes me,”

“Dude, you’re not hung-over. Well, not yet anyway. You’re probably just feeling sick,”

An arm flung over his face as he groaned once more. “Why did you let me get this drunk,” He muttered regrettably.

“Hey, you’re not that fucked, are you? Shame really, I’ve got a bottle of apple cider just sitting there in the fridge that I thought we could use up…”

Armin giggled slightly, before shaking his head under his arm. If I drunk anything else, I would most defiantly throw up on your precious cream sofa.”

Jean held his hands up in defence although Armin wasn’t looking, palms out flat. “Okay, okay I get it, just please be careful with my sofa.”

“I don’t know…thinking about it now, it might blend in depending on the colour…”

“Okay, dude, gross!”

Whilst Jean went to change into something more comfortable, most likely just sweat pants and a different t-shirt, Armin stayed in the same position concentrating on not throwing up. He had originally been wearing a pretty thick coat, thinking it would be cold for some unknown reason, or that he might get cold. He’d taken that off and tossed it on the floor somewhere hoping Jean wouldn’t trip on it or something stupid. He was now sporting just his jeans and a white t-shirt. He tried to fan himself with his hand, reminding himself to tell Jean to turn on the AC when he re-entered the room.

Jean soon padded his way to the kitchen, glancing at Armin along the way. He got incredibly flustered seeing Armin hot, sweaty, and being spread across his sofa like that.

“Hey Jean, do me a favour and turn on the AC. I feel like I’m in a fucking oven,”

“Oh, do you want me to leave?” Jean said, smirking and gesturing toward the door. Armin rolled his eyes, and threw a sofa pillow, which was a darker shade of cream, in Jean’s direction.

“Oh please, don’t flatter yourself. That joke is so overused.”

Jean caught the pillow, and just smiled; making his way over to the big lug of a machine that was his AC. As he kept pressing buttons, he spoke up again.

“I don’t know why you want the heater; it’s cute seeing you get all hot and flustered,” Jean commented. Armin sat up on one elbow and cocked an eyebrow up.

“I see we’re already on the sweet talk stage. Say hi to the alcohol in your system for me, and thank it for the compliment.”

Jean rested the pillow beneath his arm, and put an arm on his hip, turning to Armin whilst he laid back down on the sofa.

“I’m being serious, Ar,”

An arm found it’s original position on his forehead, as he sighed. “Of course you are,” He said sarcastically. He hoped it really was the alcohol talking.

 

* * *

 

 

Brown hair trailed down and across his both of his legs, as Sasha’s head rested on his lap. They were both giggling about something; neither could remember what. Connie had his back against a brown leather sofa, dreamily gazing down at Sasha who was in his lap, and had her legs dangling over the arm of the sofa.

They hadn’t turned any lights on; and they since they both loved the darkness, it wasn’t a problem for either of them. Yet Connie could just barely see Sasha, which did make him want to rethink his choices. Sasha roped her arms around his neck, and snuggled into his chest. She frowned at his rise in temperature.

“You’re so warm Con,” She remarked, closing her eyes. He flushed, and soon silently thanked the darkness so she couldn’t see him.

“Its kinda hot in here,” He drifted off. Sasha hummed in response. He blamed everything on the fact that she was drunk right now, and that she was vulnerable. Although he liked pretending that she wasn’t. He wasn’t going to do anything to her, of course.

He sighed, wanting to ask her something, yet unsure of the response he would gain. “Sash, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“Why…Why do you let Mikasa do this to you?”

Sasha sat up slightly. “Do what? Did she hurt me?”

Connie chuckled slightly. “No, Sash, nothing like that. You just…I dunno…let her take you wherever to do whatever.”

“Mikasa’s fun, if that’s what you mean.”

“You know what, never mind. I’ll ask Sober Sasha.”

She kept making uncomfortable shifting noises, until finally she grunted and sat up, straddling Connie’s lap. Unsurprisingly they had done this before as well, so it wasn’t to be made a big deal of. Yet Connie never failed to heat up like an oven whenever she did so. Sasha pawed at his hands, and they soon linked, neither minding they had sweaty hands. They were pretty intimate best friends.

Her gaze bared down on him, eyes digging into his own. They weren’t looking back at her, though. He seemed to be too embarrassed to do that. “Connie…?”

He hummed in response, still clearly interested his TV, which was situated behind her. “Why won’t…why won’t you look at me? Am I not nice to look at?”

Sasha’s dumb words caught his attention, eyes immediately finding her own, as he shook his head quickly. “What?! Sash, how could you say that? God no, it’s not that…”

She cocked her head like a fragile bird, her eyebrows furrowing.  “Then what is it?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “I…I can’t tell you, I’m sorry-“

Connie speech was cut off soft thin lips being pressed onto his own. Shock was the first thing he felt overcome him. Sasha didn’t stop continuing to sloppily move her lips to try and fit his. And he didn’t stop either. He knew he should; this wasn’t right. But the way their lips fit together so perfectly was a hard to factor to try and ignore, as well as the way her hands tightened around his neck. His hands soon found themselves fumbling up her back, as they deepened the kiss.

It had been a solid minute before Connie finally came to his senses and shoved Sasha away by her shoulders. “Wait…wait…” He said, breathless.

“You’re drunk. We can’t.”

“Sure we can,” Sasha said, perhaps a little too enthusiastically as she leaned back. Much to his dismay, he didn’t stop her. He found himself physically bound to her lips.

The new position they found themselves in was a lot easier, they both respectively thought. Sasha was lying underneath Connie, and he propped himself up on one elbow, as they continued to sloppily make out. Sasha wasn’t really paying attention to what she was doing, but let out a roll of her hips to try and create some friction down there. Connie’s eyes suddenly flew open, knowing what she was trying to do. He broke away from her.

“No, we have to stop-“

“C’mooonn…” She pleaded.

“Sash! I’m serious!” His tone of voice made her stop her whining and listen to him. “As much as… He paused to sigh. “As much as I’ve wanted this, and dreamed about it for so long…I…We…Bottom line is that you’re drunk. I’m not doing anything with you that you might regret in the morning. I’m hoping you’ll forget about this,”

She didn’t understand; of course she didn’t. Sasha was too drunk to think about the consequences of anything right now. Yet, the same familiar feeling had returned. She recognised it from before; when she hadn’t been drunk. She wanted Connie all to herself.

“I don’t understand-“

“You wouldn’t, you’re too drunk to care.” He slowly got off of her, and sat awkwardly at the end of the sofa. Sasha leaned up on her elbows and frowned sadly.

“Connie…?”

“Please, Sash. Just, go and sleep on my bed or something. I’ll sleep in here. Just make both of our lives easier, and leave now.” He felt like a complete ass for saying it, but it couldn’t be helped. He’d feel horrible if they ended up doing whatever and she’d regret it in the morning. Maybe if she hadn’t been drunk. Even still, the words came out a little harsher than they were suppose too, and Sasha got up, standing by him.

“Right, fine. Whatever you want.”

She turned to leave, still not even walking straight, and slammed the door to his bedroom loudly. The whole situation sucked, but there was nothing he could do. Nothing could make her come to her senses and understand. Sober Sasha would reason with him, but drunken Sasha was a different story. He hoped morning would come soon.

 

* * *

 

 

It was early hours of the morning, yet the sky was still as dark and as beautiful as ever. The cars below were moving quite fast, each one practically having their own lane. A string of orange was left behind them as they moved fast down a straight road. Eren had always loved where he and Armin loved. Up high in a sky scraper building, with gorgeous views. The way their apartment was laid out, was so that the kitchen and living room were joined, and big glass panels were lined up around one side of the room. The view never ceased to amaze them, any time of day.

The glass was cold against Eren’s forehead, as he leant against his, arms hugged around his legs. He didn’t know why; but he had decided to wait up for Mikasa. He figured he wouldn’t be sleeping unless she returned. He had had a text from Armin saying he was staying at Jean’s, so he didn’t have to wait up for two people.

Eren had kept yawing, praying that his emeralds would spy her walking through the door at any moment. He had already been waiting for at least an hour, yet for some reason this didn’t bother him. He would wait for her forever if he had to.

About ten minutes later, the door to their apartment opened, and the silhouette of Mikasa stalked in, shoes in hand, bare feet padding across the floor. She ran her free hand through her black silky hair, shaking her head a little. She stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw Eren.

His eyes flickered to her, not saying anything. They stayed like that for a short while, exchanging silent questions. Finally, Mikasa made her way to be seated opposite Eren, mirroring the position he was in. She carefully placed her shoes down next to her, and stared out of the window, whilst Eren was entranced by how good she still looked. The light from buildings outside glowed onto her skin, making her look like an angel. God, she was truly beautiful.

The silence was broken by her.                                                                          

“You waited up for me, huh?” She giggled to herself. “I figured you might,”

Eren said nothing, keeping the same expression of complete awe at her. She glanced his way, looking back into the darkness outside.

“You look at me like I’m some sort of god, please stop that,”

“I can’t help it.”

“Oh please,” Mikasa scoffed, leaning her chin against her hand, elbow on her lower thigh. “The amount of people who’ve said that. If you really knew me, you wouldn’t find me that beautiful at all,”

 “I do know you, Mikasa.” He’d always loved the way her name rolled of his tongue.

She scoffed once more. “That’s what you like to think,”

Silence resumed. Eren didn’t have a good enough response for what she said. Perhaps he didn’t know her. Maybe the little he thought he knew was just a bunch of shit mixed with lies.

Mikasa always states that she is unintentionally mysterious, but right now, that didn’t feel right. She was always evasive, and she wouldn’t let anyone _really_ get to know her. Eren hoped she hadn’t always been like that.

“Mikasa?”

She quickly flicked her head toward him, a gesture which was made for him to continue. “Have you always been like this?”

“Like what?”

“Like…how you are…the way you act, and the things you do,”

Mikasa smiled sadly, shaking her head downward. “Why does that matter? The way I am now is the only thing that’s important. If you’re really trying to dig up the past, there’s no point. I’ve always been like this, and I don’t plan on changing, at all. I’m happy with who I am, yet at the same time I also accept myself dying young. You know this, right?”

Eren nodded, never once letting his eyes trail away from her. Mikasa was going to dig herself an early grave, be it bit by bit or all at once. Everyone that spent a day with her knew this much. It was slightly scary how she accepted it so great fully, almost welcoming her fate.

“I’m sorry I’m not who you want me to be, I am,” She paused, looking at him, tightening her grip around her legs. “I’m glad you waited up for me. I need to tell you something,”

“What is it?”

“I’m not staying,” The outside world was too much for her too look away from, as her eyes trailed back to their original place. “I thought I could do it, maybe I could stay. I really hoped I wouldn’t get bored or desperate, especially after meeting everyone. But I did. This cities’ to cramped for me,” She paused once more, scanning the terrain that she could see.

“I stepped out of my skin for a while, I-I even lied to you all, countless times, yet I bet you already knew that. It was so abnormal of me to stay in a city like this for this long, but I notice the way you looked at me, and I felt I had some sort of duty to try and find a reason to stay. You treated someone like me with such kindness, and I figured I owed you something.  Did you get what I tried to give you? Or is there something you need from me? Because I can try and give it to you.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

“I have something I want to tell you. I don’t care if you answer or not. But I wish for you just to hear me out,” Eren said, almost breathlessly.

Mikasa smiled at him, cocking her head slightly. “You were always different, Eren. Than any other guy I’ve met. I’ll listen.”

Darkness overtook their conversation. Eren had to tell her. Despite the response he would gain, which would get him nowhere, he had to do it. He had decided to it because she told him she was leaving, and he’d regret it the rest of his life if he never said anything to her.

“I don’t care about the things you’ve done for money. I don’t care about what you’ve done with other people, or the fact you make me jealous whether you realise it or not. I don’t care that sometimes you say and do stupid things. Nothing about you bothers me. I just want you to recognise and understand, that I am completely and utterly in love with you.”

Mikasa’s pupils shrunk in size, as he finished up what he was saying.

“I know that that won’t change your mind about me, or leaving the city, but if I learned anything from you, it was to just live. I don’t want to sit here in thirty years’ time, still regretting the fact that I never told you how in love with you I am.”

Mikasa didn’t know what to say. The amount of people she had managed to keep under her powerful spell had never deterred her from being her. The amount of people who had confessed to her; the word ‘love’ meant nothing to her. Although her feelings were not reciprocated, Eren had managed to reinstate the meaning of the word love to her with a poetic confession. She hadn’t ever felt love herself; but she remembered what it meant.

“I admire you, Eren. I really do. That was poetic. I assume you are aware of my feelings,”

“I am. I wanted to ask something else of you, though…”

“And that is?”

“Can I kiss you?” He laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t expect you to say yes, but I’d kick myself if I didn’t ask.”

Mikasa smiled at the floor. The kid sure had guts, and she admired him for chasing what he wanted. “Knowing everything you know about me, and how I feel about you, you still want to kiss me?”

Eren shrugged.  “I guess I do. It doesn’t mean anything to you, but at least for now, it’ll mean the world to me.”

“If it had been anyone else, I might have said no. But you intrigue me, Eren. For now, I’ll pretend I’m in love with you, so I can kiss you like I mean it. It may be cruel playing pretend, but it’s all I have to give.”

“I don’t care. As long as you kiss me,”

Mikasa smiled, wider this time, and crawled her way over to Eren. His legs bended down so she could straddle him. She was just as light as he imagined. The street lights from below mixed with their individual colours, as Mikasa elegantly bent her back up, raising herself on her calves so she was taller than him. Her deep ocean eyes board into him, her facial expression remaining neutral.

“I love you, Eren,”

And the gap between them closed.

 

* * *

 

 

“What in the hell…Armin?”

Jean had leaped back from Armin, reminisce of alcohol on Jean’s heavy and uncoordinated breathing. Jean thought Armin could handle his alcohol better than the average person, but that didn’t seem to be the case anymore. It was strange, they hadn’t drunk anything else for the rest of that night, yet Armin had, for some reason, pressed his lips against Jean’s.

“But Armin…you’re…”                                                         

Armin sighed, sinking back into the cream sofa. “Guess I couldn’t hide it forever.”

“Hide what? Armin, what in the hell is going on?”

Armin closed his eyes, sighing once more. “Would you please stop shouting? I have a headache, you know,”

Jean stood up now, in utter confusion, desperately trying to earn an answer from him. “Not until you tell you me what in the hell you just did.”

“Jean, the alcohol has basically worn off by now, yet you really can’t remember what happened literally five seconds ago? I kissed you.”

Jean felt another wave of shock go through him. Armin was right, this kiss hadn’t been a drunken mistake. They had been laughing off the drink all night. That kiss was supposed to mean something. He almost dropped to his knees in utter disbelief.

“But you’re-“

“Yes, I know, godammit! _Oh look, it’s Armin the asexual,_ ” He paused sighing into his hand. “I’ve had enough. I’m not…I’m not that at all.”

Jean started shaking, not in fear, but out of confusion, out of desire for more. “What are you trying to say?”

“Are you really that blind, Jean? You need me to spell it out for you? I AM SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MEN.”

The apartment fell silent. Many questions wanted to surface, but neither could find the right words, or how to say them. Passing all the dumb ones, a question that soon surfaced in Jean’s mind was to why he lied about it. It wasn’t like anyone was going to have a problem with him being gay, because Jean himself was. He couldn’t comprehend any of this.

“Well,” Armin said, trying to break the tension in the room, “If the neighbours weren’t already awake before they sure are now.”

“A-Armin…”

“Yes?”

“Why did you…I mean…How…Why…” Jean’s words kept pathetically stuttering as he tried to ask him why. Why he had lied about it.

“What? Why did I lie? Why did I keep myself to myself?” Armin shook his head and smiled sadly. “Back before we met you, everyone used to tease me about not putting myself out there. You know me and what I’m like now, but back then I was still figuring me out. I gained the nickname Armin the asexual, and because I was still figuring myself out, I sort of just stuck with it. I didn’t even realise until a few years later, but everyone had this perfect cookie cutter mould of me that I didn’t feel like changing. I kept up the persona of being that just because it suited everyone else. I knew people would be shocked, maybe even disappointed that their version of Armin was ruined, so I saved myself a lot of hassle.”

Jean couldn’t believe it; he almost refused to believe it. That’s what had kept him from being himself? Other people’s interpretations of him? Jean felt like crying. He didn’t know what to say back to that. What could he say? He did the only thing he thought he was good at. He rushed up and landed on his knees in front of Armin, and threw his arms around his torso, hugging him tightly.

Armin was going to protest at first, but the way his arms felt around Armin’s waist and torso was too much for him, and his own arms soon snaked around Jean.

“I have so much to tell you, Armin.”

He moved away from the hug, still clasping onto Jean’s shoulders. “Like what?”

A deep crimson burned onto his cheeks, as he awkwardly looked away, his eyes searching for something else other than the surface of two oceans. “If I tell you, things won’t be the same.”

Armin sighed before smiling at him. “Things aren’t going to be the same anymore anyway, Jean. Just tell me,”

“Fine. When I broke up with Marco, which seems like ages ago now, I felt horrible. I told everyone it was because I’d lost feelings for him, so I guess I was half right…But the real reason is because I found myself wanting to hang around you more than my boyfriend. I got more joy out of seeing you smile, than I did him. I got more joy out of hearing you laugh, than him. And that’s when I realised I was being unfair to him. I’m not the type of person to cheat at all, and even though I technically wasn’t cheating, it sure as hell felt like it…The real reason I broke it off with him because I fell for you, Armin.”

Armin was a little stunned to say the least, yet he also felt incredibly bad for some reason. He had no intention of making Jean fall in love with him, yet it had happened. Over the course of the last few weeks, Armin had come to terms with a lot of things. He definitely always found Jean interesting, but didn’t know if it was an actual attraction or just spare of the moment. Maybe it was selfish, but part of the reason he agreed to stay the night was because he wanted to test the waters, to see if he really did like him. And being drunk was the perfect excuse for things if they went badly. He voiced this to Jean, and he drunk it all in with anticipation.

“I think…I think I do like you, Jean. A kiss wasn’t what proved that, though, just in case you thought it was. I actually figured it out half an hour ago, and I thought a kiss wouldn’t hurt,”

And Jean just laughed. A laugh of relief, perhaps. Only Armin. Only Armin would say something as dumb as that. He really didn’t have a clue when it came to this stuff; then again, he had only recently come to terms with his sexuality that he had been questioning for a while. And, he had no practice.

Armin began to take his phone out of his jean pocket. “I suppose I better text Eren and tell him-“

“Eren can wait. He’s probably snogging Mikasa’s face off,” Jean said, lowering Armin’s arm down, and leaning in closer to his face. “For now, I want to be selfish. I want you all to myself.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kisses with passion that burned in either one’s stomach were Mikasa’s favourite. And that’s exactly what she got from Eren, she didn’t expect anything but. This was the first time in her life she had said ‘I love you’, and she hadn’t even meant it, but it didn’t bother her. Even if it was only pretend, it felt real. This was all she could for him.

Their mouths moulded together, lips overlapping every now and again, and even though it was quite noisy, neither seemed to mind. Eren was respectful of her, and kept his hands in place on her hips, while hers explored his back, tracing down forgotten lines, and bones that stuck out a little.

They finally stopped, breaking away, panting breaths being heard from the both of them. They didn’t look at each other until a few moments after, when Eren’s eyes almost made Mikasa faint. His sweaty brown hair, and vibrant emeralds that pierced into her made the raven question everything.

She soon curled into him, spreading his legs apart so she could rest between them. She placed her head against his beating heart. She cursed down to herself about letting herself get to close to him, but she couldn’t help it. He deserved every piece of her. His heart beat in the cage of his ribs, and Mikasa realised that this was the first and last time she would ever hear his heart beat. It was rapid now, but soon slowed down to a normal pace.

Neither could recall how long they stayed in that position, until the sky started to change colour, as dusk was beginning to set in.

“Are you asleep Eren?” She whispered.

“Almost,” He replied with eyes shut.

“If you fall asleep now, I’ll be gone when you wake up.”

Eren sighed. “It’s strange how I’d prefer that.

“You don’t want to say goodbye?”

“I don’t want our remaining memories to be sad ones.”

Mikasa let out a breath through her nose. She’d never thought about it like that before. The last memories she’d have of him were the way he breathed when he slept awkwardly against glass. She didn’t mind it being that way.

Mikasa had hoped for a quiet leave. No big party, nothing. Just a wave and a shutting door was all she desired. And she got that.

 “I see. Goodnight then, Eren,”

“Good morning, Mikasa.”

 

* * *

 

 

Diagonal rays of sun filtered through the blinds, as Sasha awoke with a pounding headache, and no memoires of the night before. She cursed aloud, slapping a hand on her forehead. Mikasa had most probably roped her into drinking again. When she found the strength to sit up, she realised that she wasn’t in her room. Her eyes searched around a little, getting familiar with her surroundings. It clicked when she recalled that she had stayed the night at Connie’s.

She padded her way into the living room, which was a few meters away from the bedroom door. She found Connie laying on the sofa, TV on, curled in a blanket. He looked pretty cute like that.

“Morning Con,” She plopped down next to him, legs already up on the sofa near his.

“Hi.”

A weak response, Sasha had thought. Maybe he had been drinking last night too.

“What you watchin’?” No response. “Connie…?”

“You don’t remember anything from last night, do you?”

“Um…”

Sasha tried her best to recall, yet with a pounding headache, the task was proving difficult. She then looked down at her clothing, and realised she was still in a dress. Then the events of last night came in one by one- the drinking with Mikasa, the car ride home with Connie, the make out session with Connie, the-

“AH! Oh god, we didn’t do anything, did we?” Sasha said, jumping a little, her arms half way in mid air.

“No, we only made out.” He replied, facial expression still fixed on the TV.

“Oh thank god…” Sasha said, wiping sweat off of her forehead. “I mean, ah, not that that would be a bad thing…or um…”

Connie practically sat up. “Sash…?”

They both turned beetroot red. They had finally registered what the other one was saying.

“We made out…huh?”

“Yeah, we did…”

“W-Was I…Was I any good?”

Connie only blinked while Sasha dived under the blanket Connie had been using. “I’m so sorry!” Could be heard underneath. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, as he blushed even harder.

“You were…you were fine. Great. It was great,”

“Oh…Okay. Good,”

The TV was the only thing that could be heard for several minutes, They both stayed in their positions during that time, not daring to make another move. Connie decided to be a man for once and make a move on the girl.

“Would you, uh, maybe wanna try it again?”

Sasha’s head immediately came out from the blanket, and her whole body flopped down onto Connie. His eyes were wide with anticipation.

“Connie…I’m not gonna make out with you because morning breath…but I can do you one better…”

“W-What’s that?”

“Be my boyfriend?”

His heart filled with love for her asking, and he simply smiled wide, nodding his head. He was she’d asked to stay last night. He was glad she drank alcohol. He was glad they had kissed. He was glad for every action he had made the previous night, so very, very glad.

 

* * *

 

 

It was about half eleven in the morning when Armin finally came in through the door. Eren was situated at the breakfast bar they owned, drinking poorly made coffee and holding a piece of paper.

They greeted each other with only a look of knowing.

“I got your text Ar, what did you have to tell me?

“It can wait. What’s that in your hand, and where in god’s name is-“

“She left.”

Armin put his coat down on the counter, and stopped in his tracks. “Left? What the hell-“

“Armin! Listen. I told her yesterday. I waited up for her, and I told her I loved her, and we kissed, I fell asleep, and I woke up to this letter. Now tell me what’s going on with you.”

So Armin told him how his own evening played out, and Eren kept nodding and listening. And when Armin finally told him, Eren hugged him and said he accepted him for who he was, and that he shouldn’t feel bad for lying all this time. He also said him and Jean had decided to take things slow, deciding that the two clearly had a mutual attraction for each other. They in fact had dinner plans for tonight, and Eren was happy for them.

Connie had texted their group chat about his new relationship with Sasha, and everyone aside Eren had excitedly sent emojis into the chat, mostly celebratory ones. Armin was pretty happy for them, whilst Jean acted smug, saying he knew it was going to happen.

Eren couldn’t help but feel a little down about how his evening played out. He already missed her, and knowing he would never see her again added to how shit he felt. He tried his best to be happy for Armin, but he couldn’t exactly ignore his own feelings, either. Armin knew this, and after Eren had told him everything, he decided to stop talking about himself.

Armin began to start making some decent coffee, whilst talking to Eren at the same time. “So, you read the letter yet?”

“Nope.”

“Are…you gonna read it?”

“Nope.”

“Eren-“

“I’m done with being hurt, Armin. I need to get over her as fast as I can, and that stupid letter isn’t going to help anyone.” He sighed, seeing his reflection in his coffee.

“Why don’t we read it together?”

Eren titled his head slightly, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “I’ll read it, you listen, okay?” Eren nodded in agreement, and reluctantly passed over the letter to Armin.

_Eren,_

_I kept to my word. When you’re reading this, I won’t be there anymore, yet I can’t apologise for that. I want you to believe me when I say that I did try my hardest to find a reason to stay; but there’s a dangerous, adventurous side of me that’s like a lion in a cage. I can’t stay here all my life. The city was cramped for me. It would be nice to find a place to settle down into, and I’d always wished for a simple life. Yet that’s not where my soul aches to go._

_I don’t know where I’ll go next. I wish I could tell you but I have no idea myself. It’d be nice to have a home to lay your head in, and to know when you’re next meal is. If I’m being honest, I’ve tried that life before, and it wasn’t for me. I’ve got so much left to see and do, that all this will become faint memories; and that I can apologise for. I’ll think of you often, until I meet someone new. However, I’ll never forget all that you did for me, whether it was because of my looks or my personality, I never asked._

_I also must apologise for making you fall in love with me. It sounds narcissistic of me to say, but I don’t care. It was never my intention, just like most things I do. I never set out on a goal to try and hurt you, even though I have. I know I’ve made you purposefully jealous before, which wasn’t okay for me to do, but then again, that’s me all over. Just a bad influence. I don’t want this letter to be full of apologies._

_If someone other than Eren finds this, I care for you to. Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha. I’ll hopefully never forget the memories you gifted me with. I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye properly, but goodbyes really aren’t my thing. I also know it’s cheesy to leave letters, but I personally like them._

_I hope you live a happy and successful life. I hope you find a wife who treats you well, who will give you beautiful children. I hope she gives you whatever I couldn’t give. I hope you travel the world, and see the things I may have seen before you. There are lots of truly beautiful places in the world; you just have to search for them. Until that time comes, I ask of you one thing._

_Just live, Eren._

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
